Miss Independent

I’m very independent (and proud of it). Can this be another reason I’m still a virgin? Let’s explore

Like I said, I’m not the type of girl that won’t do things just because she has no one to do them with (I HATE those girls and have told my friends that if I ever depend on a man and become clingy/needy- please slap me in the face). I live alone, have gone to plays and movies alone and have even gone on long vacations alone. Why should I not go to Europe because no one else can go with me? I’m enjoying the things I like to do, that’s that.

(Side comment- saying “alone” does not = lonely…don’t get me wrong, like most people (I think), I get lonely at times, but it’s not a regular feeling)

But…I am eager to do all of the above with a man as well…right? I constantly tell my friends, “I’d love to take advantage of the city with a boyfriend, it must be so different.” Imagine having dinners planned out for you? Having someone look at you on a subway and think, “What a cute couple.” Having your dreams come true of going on vacation with your boyfriend and playing around in the sun and sand all day then be tangled in the sheets of our Bora Bora hut all night? (I told you I was a dreamer)

So what’s with the “…right?” Well I’m so comfortable being single/independent that I’m also worried that if I have to “answer” to someone or think of 2 schedules, that I’ll end up hating it/them. Is this why I’m not in a relationship? 2 of the couples that have been together the longest (and will be together forever) in my life, both consist of independent type people. They don’t NEED each other and do things without the other, but they WANT to be together. Why can’t I have this?

Though, yet again, this may explain why I haven’t had a boyfriend yet…not why I’m a virgin. It seems like the more and more I write, the more and more I realize I am waiting for a boyfriend, not a one night stand.


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